Asking a six-year old where they want to live.

When your child asks if you are friends with the other parent, vehemently saying, “We’re not friends. We never will be.”

Telling the children that dad is having an affair.

Telling your children, “You have a bad mommy.”

Telling your children, “Mommy’s keeping you from me.”

Saying, “Let’s keep this a secret from mommy.”

When asked to sign a legal agreement that formalizes how the parents have been handling child support, saying, “It’s not in my best interests to sign this.”

You’ve reached the point when you know your marriage is over. You want your divorce to be as easy as possible: amicable, with your children not caught in the middle of an ugly and expensive court battle.

You have no experience with divorce, and you know you need help. You want to avoid the divorce from hell.

And then, one time, a turning point. An event that made her realize, my children are being harmed from us being together. Divorce is better….

16. Not expecting dad to change. How he acts has nothing to do with her. It’s dad being true to being dad. Nothing more or nothing less.

17. Not referring to the children’s dad as her “ex”. Instead, refer to him as her “former spouse.”

the 11 strategies for successfully negotiating with a narcissist:

1. Take control of the dialogue.

2. Don’t respond immediately. Silence is your friend.

3. Know the facts and the applicable law before starting negotiations.

4. Don’t let yourself be bullied if the law supports what you want to happen.

5. Let the narcissist think they’ve won.

6. Never start with your “line in the sand” when negotiating with a narcissist.

7. Always share how something will benefit the narcissist.

8. When making written offers, include a few typographical and small factual errors.

I suspect if my sibling had written, “Hey Kim, I’m uncomfortable with having my image in your FB post. Might you consider taking it down? Thanks.” I would have taken the first option.

Can you relate? An adult orders you to do something, and you revert to the eight-year old who refused to eat peas for dinner. It gets ugly real fast.

Yet if someone asks you nicely, with respect, the people pleaser in you jumps in and agrees without thinking. This way, everyone stays friends.

To respond to CRA, I had to ask my former spouse for a copy of the rental agreement he’d signed for his apartment.

Divorce courts started in England in 1857: more than 165 years ago. During that era, marriage lasted “until death do us part”. You had to do something bad to ask the court for a divorce.

something kind of strange happened this time. When you began the session with the ice breaker … the type of activity that usually makes me internally roll my eyes

Think about the story lines in Cinderella, Rapunzel and Snow White. Those women had no power.

They were portrayed as victims who had to be rescued by a handsome prince before they could live happily ever after.

Thanks to the messages from these fairy tales, I waited for a prince to rescue me from my first husband. This went on for three years.

she was a judge who wrote about the cost of divorce.

More than 15 years ago, she commented in one written judgment that issuing a petition and bringing one application costs each party at least

When my son was 11, he said he wanted to canoe to Grey Owl’s Cabin in Prince Albert National Park. I said okay. Then we forgot. Until he reminded me, 11 years later. I kept my promise in May, 2023.

You have a business, a pension, a cabin inherited from your parents during your marriage. You don’t want to share it. It’s yours! Yet the law says you must.
What do you do to protect yourself?

Canadian divorce law has just experienced a fundamental shift. If you want to divorce without lawyers, keep reading to learn how you can share your property without involving these professionals, and have the court give deference to what you’ve decided.

“My husband’s a narcissist.”

I hear this at least twice a week from the women who are in the midst of divorce.

Yet research shows that only 7.7% of men in the United States are narcissists.

It doesn’t add up.

You’ve fallen out with a family member. It feels like a complete pickle. At times you miss the person like crazy. Other times … you know what I mean. You’re ready for help in managing this sticky-situation, but don’t know where to turn.

A lot goes on in your relationship that you don't like. Your spouse may say and do many things that annoy you. You may find your spouse's family difficult and you may not want to spend time with them. You may be happy doing your own thing, and avoiding your spouse.

You and your spouse may only talk about your children. Or maybe not. Maybe most of the time is spent arguing. Maybe your skin crawls when your spouse touches you.

Yet you stay. You're like that frog. No need to beat yourself up about it. Here's why.

According to a survey done by The Canadian Research Institute for Law and the Family, if it is a low conflict divorce, each spouse can expect to spend, in money and time: if mediation is used: $6,345 and 4.8 months; if collaborative law is used: $6,269 and 5.0 months; if arbitration is used: $12,328 and 6.6 months and if litigation (lawyers fighting in court) is used: $12,395 and 10.8 months. The costs for high conflict divorce are much more.